iexamen2

 

    On October 23rd, I exercised self-observation using the iExamen, during which I communicated under three conditions: kind, useful, and true. This iExamen was slightly more tough than the last one, but mostly in terms of in-person contact. I mention this because I never post hateful remarks, angry words, or even confusing phrases on social media since I know how difficult it is to communicate online without physical tone and body language helping in the message and meaning behind each word typed. When I text my close friends and family, though, I text as if I were speaking since I know they can hear my tone. With my close friends, I would say I am a jokester and like to be sarcastic. Using this iExamen throughout the day made it difficult to be sarcastic, making it challenging to converse normally with my friends, and in turn, I also received several concerns about my well-being. After complimenting my family in the family group chat, my mother asked, "What do you want?". This reaction was both amusing and hilariously painful because how could they think of me in that way! But, all joking aside, my parents loved my remark and this reminded me that I should do this more often to show them how much I respect them. However, this manner of communication was more inhibiting than beneficial since it felt sly, and people seemed to raise an eyebrow with every nice statement I spoke.

While I went about my day and went out with friends for a Halloween costume shopping excursion, I saw myself stumbling and pausing mid-sentence as I tried to follow the iExamen and talk with compassion. This irritated me because my friends kept urging me to speak out, to speak with my chest, and to stop shying away. As I informed them about my iExamen, I was met with a tougher challenge from my friends, seeking to get me to fail outside of the rules. Additionally, I was met with several jokes and comments such as "oh forgot you can't speak sabrina". Although it was quite humorous and provided entertainment for my friends and family, all I could think about was how after everything was over, I would make sure to bring up their treatment of testing me.

As my day came to a close and I returned home about dinner time, I layed in my bed and typed this as rapidly as I could to recall most of the specifics. Now that I have the opportunity to ponder, I have recognized that I believe a lot has changed in the nature of communication these days. Although speaking in a kind, beneficial, and truthful manner aided in the development of my positivism, I discovered that many individuals reacted differently to this. People want to see normalcy and honesty in others; striving to conceal your natural and human inclinations of various sentiments causes you to drift away from others. People sometimes enjoy various emotions and snarky jokes that may or may not be genuine or beneficial. Although I do not condone the use of foul language, there is a saying "those who use a lot of swear words tend to be more trustworthy and honest, human behavioral studies reveal," and I include this since my friend Maddie brought it up when I discussed the iExamen. She stated that she felt more honest with those who communicated frankly, as it correlated to a stronger connection to the genuine truth. While I tried to talk truthfully through kindness and only employ beneficial communication points, it came out as nasty and sneaky and disconnected me from my friends. Lastly, I saw no difference in my interactions with mall staff and the general public since I always make an effort to maintain good manners. I was met with the same thankyou's or ignores from tired personals who just wanted to get their shopping done.